It’s My Anniversary! Fourteen Years Later and Going Strong
Fourteen years ago today was my last day as an employee. It was the day I said goodbye to pension, benefits, and certainty. I’ve been working for me, and the clients I serve, ever since.
I remember the day like it was yesterday. I sent out an email to those I had worked with most closely thanking them for the past five years.
Several responded, but not my supervisor. And not hers.
It was radio silence.
The same radio silence I had been met with when I had asked to go part time, to have some time to get a hold of my life, and to look after myself, and my family.
Weeks passed, they never managed to discuss my request. I had opened up to my supervisor about my struggles with work and family and my own mental health. Nothing came of it, weeks later.
So I gave my notice.
In retrospect, with fourteen years of experience and more clarity I understand. They wanted me to resign.
Maybe it was because I had refused to write a fraudulent report.
Maybe it was because I had tearfully called out how terribly senior management treated each other, and how tired I was of the ongoing battle to be on “this person” or “this person’s” side.
My self-confidence took a hit.
My homelife was a mess.
But I had always prided myself on my work and ability to go
above and beyond. So the silence from my superiors was like punishment to me.
These aren’t details I’ve shared before. I’ve always framed
my transition to self-employment as a positive, but truthfully, it was one of
the lowest points of my life.
I share now because I have met so many others like me, who
have been devastated when they couldn’t live up to whatever expectation they had
for themselves at home or at work.
Truthfully, I don’t know where I would be now if I had
stayed.
I would probably have withered away..
I would be cynical..
I would be mailing it in.
I worked with that same group a couple years ago, they told
me that nothing has changed since I’d been there. 75% of them would leave if
they didn’t worry about it impacting their pension.
Sometimes, the most devastating, soul crushing work
experiences are propelling us to where we need to be.
And this is why I can now look at my self-reliance and
self-employment with awe and wonder.
I got out.
I did it.
I love my work.
I thank the universe for each day,
Today, fourteen years after my last day as an employee, I spent
the afternoon with the Belleville and Quinte West Community Health Centre to
develop organizational norms.
I understand why they important, because I’ve seen what
happens when they are not.
Time flies.
What a great day.
Here’s to the next 14.
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